Jobs I Could Never Do

This one goes out to my friends on retailhellunderground.com. I am a servant of that genius site, always.

I made a list of jobs in which I don't think I'd ever be able to survive. Enjoy.

In no particular order:

1) Grocery stores. I hate grocery shopping and these places are the last places that I'd want to hang out. I'd be way too tempted to tell people to go to aisle sixteen for the mouthwash they were looking for that is actually located in aisle four. Plus, which position would I even be good at? I'd be having too much fun "accidentally" running into people's cars with the shopping carts I'm supposed to bring back to be able to perform my job properly. Grocery stores are out.

2) Walmart. HELL NO. It's bad enough being a customer there and having to look at and listen to the other customers that never graduated from the eighth grade so they can't read and can't count (well I guess that's why). Plus, with the stories I've heard, Walmart treats their employees like garbage.

3) Restaurants as a server. I simply do NOT have enough patience for this position. If my ability to make money (tips) depends on my patience, then I won't be making much money! I am quite sure they would fire me after a week because I'd surely have stabbed a customer by then! Not only that, but I'm also very uncoordinated so I'd probably be dropping people's food. Then I'd have to listen to customers' bitch fits about their food being dropped and how they have to wait and then I don't get a tip. FUCK THAT SHIT. Let me wash dishes in the back! I'd rather burn my hand to the bone than deal with boneheads all night long!

I'm happy where I work, right where I am. I just keep thinking to myself that at least I am separated from people by a counter so the true psychos can't attack me and I can't attack them if they drive me to insanity. I do want to keep my job, after all. I work with some of the chillest people around. =)